


Not Just A Cruel Dream

by misseliza23



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Crying, Drinking, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Holtz in a towel, Still bad at summaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 18:33:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8220778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misseliza23/pseuds/misseliza23
Summary: Yes, another "back to the drawing board" story. I just had to.
Both Holtzmann and Erin come to terms with their feelings for each other after the drawing board incident.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys,  
> I'm soooo sorry for not updating my other story for such a long time.  
> I had a few rough weeks at work and then had to go to another city for a week for some further training (successfully, I might add).  
> So I had this idea about the drawing board deleted scene and I just had to write it down now before continuing with my other story.  
> Hope it makes sense.
> 
> Have fun ;)

„Whoops… okay… back to the drawing board on that one.“  
Holtzmann tried to make it sound lite, but had to fight the tears threatening to leave her eyes as her chest tightened.

It was supposed to be a joke. The “And we’re dating”.  
A flirty remark, as she made so often around Erin.  
Because it was fun.  
Since the day Erin walked into their lab at Higgins, Holtzmann had loved to make Erin blush with her constant innuendo.  
It was all fun and games, she told herself. And so flirting with the physicist had become a routine for her. And every day Holtzmann reminded herself that Erin wasn’t into women, that it was just a harmless game.   
And they had grown so comfortably close – as friends and colleagues – and she enjoyed the time they had together. Because spending time around Erin Gilbert had become the high point of every day for Jillian Holtzmann.

She didn’t know why at first, but Erin’s response had hit her badly.  
Her reaction and instant denial stung.  
And suddenly she felt the burning sensation of tears forming in her eyes.  
So she made another joke, only slowly realizing that, yes, she wanted Erin Gilbert to date her.  
She wanted her, not just as a friend. And Erin didn’t want her back.  
It was simple math, but it hurt like hell.

Luckily neither Doctor Gorin, nor Abby and Erin commented on her strange behavior and moist eyes and soon her and her mentor began calculating the amount of energy it would take to improve the containment unit without blowing a giant hole into New York City.

 

Later that night, Abby and Erin cleaned up the downstairs kitchen area from their earlier dinner.  
“You know… I think she really likes you.” Abby said finally, while putting away the freshly cleaned plates.  
“Sorry?” Erin answered in a small voice.  
“I’ve never seen her like that before.” Abby continued, because she was sure her friend knew what she was talking about.  
Erin stopped what she was doing, thinking back to the hurt and embarrassed expression on Holtzmann’s face and felt instant regret.  
Abby put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly.  
“I also think that you like her back. Even if you won’t admit it to yourself.” She paused sighing.  
“But if you don’t, Erin, please let her down gently. That was rough.”   
Abby let her hand linger a moment longer and then busied herself packing her things together.  
“I’m going home for the night. See you tomorrow.” She added in a light tone and went out the door.

 

It was almost 1 am when Holtzmann came down the stairs and was ready to finally call it a night.  
Doctor Gorin had left around eleven and she had just assumed that she was the last one at the firehouse when she saw light coming from the kitchen and went to investigate.  
Erin sat at the kitchen counter, staring at nothing in particular in the dimly lit room.

“You’re still here.” Erin looked up at the statement, but didn’t answer, then quickly averted her eyes from the engineer with a short nod.  
So Holtz wordlessly turned to leave, wishing that Erin would stop her. But she didn’t.  
A long walk home would help, the engineer thought.  
Grabbing her leather jacket from a chair near the front door she stopped to listen for any movement from Erin.  
After several moments of silence she left the firehouse, stepping into the crisp New York night air.

 

At the sound of the front door closing, Erin finally came out of her stupor.  
Did Holtzmann really like her like that?   
For the past 2 hours she had thought about all the winks and grins and light touches directed at her. And then she thought how much she enjoyed the attention.  
It never failed to make her heart beat slightly faster. These moments had become the highlight of any day for her. One toothy smile from Holtzmann would make the shittiest day seem like all the holidays combined.  
Her mind wandered to all the times she caught herself staring at the engineer and how just looking at her gave her a funny feeling in her belly.  
Her eyes widened at the next thought.   
She liked Holtz back. She didn’t want her to stop any of this.  
She wanted to be near her, touch her, hug her, kiss her and so much more.  
And now she had ruined it all, because she had been too blind to see what was right in front of her.

 

Holtzmann woke with a start, her doorbell ringing insistently.  
She glanced at her alarm clock and had to blink a few times to finally identify the blurred numbers.  
3.42 am  
For a moment she contemplated just hiding under her pillow until the ringing would stop, but then heaved herself out of bed with a sigh. “Right there. Hold your horses.” She yelled.

She blinked and shook her head at the sight in front of her upon opening the door.  
Erin. Erin looking tired and drunk and sad and… was she shaking? Where was her coat?  
They looked at each other for a moment until Holtzmann stepped aside, opening the door a bit wider for the physicist to step inside her apartment.

A tear ran down Erin’s cheek and Holtz’s heart broke at the sight.  
“Erin, what happened?”  
“I… wanted to apologize.” She slurred her words a little and put her arms around herself to keep from shaking.   
“I’m sorry… if I hurt you and I… I didn’t see…” Tears started rolling down her cheeks now.  
“Come on. Let’s get you warmed up first and then you can tell me everything, my freezing damsel in distress.” Holtz half-joked, while leading her friend over to the sofa and putting a blanked around her shoulders, then sitting down next to her with a worried look on her face.

They both said nothing for a while, just staring at the coffee table in front of them in silence.  
Erin had stopped crying at some point, but still couldn’t find the right words, her lips pressed together firmly.  
“Listen Erin, I know I made you uncomfortable earlier. I can stop the flir….”   
“NO!” the woman beside her interrupted her in a high-pitched voice.  
Holtz looked at her with wide eyes, not knowing what to make of all this.  
They were both silent again, until Erin tucked her feet underneath herself and leaned into the blonde woman next to her, laying her head on her shoulder.  
Holtzmann didn’t move for a few minutes, then inhaled deeply smelling Erin’s shampoo and the distinct scent of strong liquor on her breath and her heart ached for her friend. She moved a little, trying to put a comforting arm around the brunette when she noticed that Erin had fallen asleep on her shoulder.

Confused and also tired Holtzmann disentangled herself from Erin, laying her down gently and then pulling the blanket tighter around her.  
Careful not to wake the sleeping form on her sofa she tiptoed into her bedroom, leaving the door open in case Erin woke up.

 

A few hours later Erin’s eyes opened to bright sunlight shining through the windows.  
She sat up quickly and in panic to the strange surroundings when she remembered coming to Holtzmann’s place last night, after a few drinks at the bar, to tell her she was sorry and to tell her that she’d made up her mind, that she’d come to the realization that she wanted more than just friendship.   
She wasn’t exactly sure though what had happened after Holtz had opened the door.

Looking around she saw the bedroom door was open, but the bed was empty.  
Then suddenly another door opened and out came a towel clad Holtzmann, her skin still glistening from her shower, wet long wavy hair framing her face.  
“G’morning.” She smiled at Erin, quickly moving towards her bedroom and half-closing the door, so she was out of sight.  
“I laid out some towels and a spare toothbrush in the bathroom for you. Feel free to take a shower. I’m gonna make some coffee in the meantime.”  
“Uhm. You know. Maybe I should just go.” Erin said quietly, feeling slightly embarrassed at her physical reaction to the half-naked woman in the next room.  
“Gilbert, you wanted to talk and then you fell asleep on me. I can’t say I’m not intrigued at what brought you to my door in the middle of the night.” Holtzmann answered calmly, then emerged from behind the door with a raised eyebrow, smiling, now fully dressed in slacks and a dark green button-down shirt.  
Erin looked her up and down and the wordlessly got up and went into the bathroom.

 

When she got out, freshly showered but in yesterday’s clothes, Holtzmann was waiting for her on the sofa with two steaming cups of coffee on the table in front of her.  
“Sorry. No food. I normally pick up breakfast on my way to the firehouse.” Holtz said, patting the free space next to her. “Come sit Gilbert, I don’t bite… without consent.” She added with a wink, trying to lighten the mood.  
Erin sat down reluctantly.

“Sooooo….” The engineer started.  
Drawing a shaky breath Erin finally started talking.  
“I thought about what you said yesterday, Holtz. The dating thing… and I realized that I might have hurt you with my reaction. And I’m sorry for that.” She paused to look up at Holtzmann who stared at her with a curious expression on her face and then continued.  
“And then I thought about us, our friendship and what you mean to me…” she paused, looking back at her hands on her lap with a nervous chuckle.  
Holtz scooted closer, her face now only a few inches from Erin’s.  
“Aaaaand… did you come to a conclusion?” she half-whispered with a hopeful pitch in her voice.  
Erin looked back up, searching the pair of blue eyes in front of her for the courage to go through with this.  
“Yes.” she breathed, feeling an almighty pull towards the blonde in front of her.  
Holtzmann swallowed audibly.  
“And what is that conclusion?” she asked with a trembling voice, her eyes darting to Erin’s lips and then quickly back up to her eyes.   
The brunette didn’t answer.  
“Erin, I kinda need you to say it, so I know this is not just a cruel dream again.”  
“Again?” Erin couldn’t keep from chuckling at the revelation that Holtz had indeed dreamed about her before.  
“Don’t change the subject, Gilbert. Focus.” Holtz said lightly, putting her arm on the back of the sofa right next to Erin’s face.  
The physicist sighed and let her eyes dart to the other woman’s mouth.  
“How can I focus when all I want to do is kiss you right now?” she whispered and let her lips softly brush against Holtz’s and when she was ready to pull away she felt a pair of soft hands on her cheeks, pulling her in for a much deeper kiss.

It was Holtzmann who finally broke the kiss, taking a moment to catch her breath.  
“So this means we’re dating, right?” she asked with the biggest grin on her face.  
“Yes Holtz, we’re dating.” Erin answered happily before pulling the engineer in for another kiss.


End file.
